I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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