get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
