How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
