hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
