He is an equal opportunity slut.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
