So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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