The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
