I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I understand Curling. That high.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You are a genius and a whore.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
