i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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