from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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