I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
