Dual....:-)
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
