Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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