its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
