We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
