Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
