is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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