He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
