I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
be right there i have to get my cape
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
