Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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