butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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