Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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