talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
