and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
