You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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