i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
