Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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