i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
