we made out on top of his cat.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
