the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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