Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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