So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
