so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
