my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
