I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
