Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
