I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
