gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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