There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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