I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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