It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
