Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
