If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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