Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
