yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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