I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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