He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
