he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
