Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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