margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
