Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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