Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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