dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just got carded by a ten year old.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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